All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who
was the one In-charge.
"I should be In-charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's
systems, so without me nothing would happen".
"I should be In-charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen
all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be In-charge," said the stomach," because I process food and
give all of you energy."
"I should be In-charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body
wherever it needs to go."
"I should be In-charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to
see where it goes."
"I should be In-charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for
waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in
a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was
bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was
toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story...
The asshole is usually In-charge
;-)
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Secretary
Last week my wife fired my secretary…
So I placed a classified in the Jobs section "Require Hot Secretary"...
This year X'mas came early... I got this application the very next day...
Deer Sir,
I wanna apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I theenk I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
seam to respond to me well, ax anyone.
Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I offen can get a job no
problem. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me
and wat you theenk that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pitcher of me
taken at mi last jobb.
Well...what more could I have wanted... so I trashed the rest of the applications and sent a confirmation letter to my new PA.
.... It's OK honey; we've got the spell check. When can you start?
She joined in yesterday...
But then kinda Tsunami struck my work life too...
Today my wife again fired my secretary… But honestly, I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth...
So I placed a classified in the Jobs section "Require Hot Secretary"...
This year X'mas came early... I got this application the very next day...
Deer Sir,
I wanna apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can
Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I theenk I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole
seam to respond to me well, ax anyone.
Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I offen can get a job no
problem. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me
and wat you theenk that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. .
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pitcher of me
taken at mi last jobb.
Well...what more could I have wanted... so I trashed the rest of the applications and sent a confirmation letter to my new PA.
.... It's OK honey; we've got the spell check. When can you start?
She joined in yesterday...
But then kinda Tsunami struck my work life too...
Today my wife again fired my secretary… But honestly, I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth...
3 wishes...
A king travels through the desert and discovers a man trapped under a big rock. He throws a rope around the rock and ties it to his horse and pulls the rock off the man. The man, grateful as he is, tells the king that he's really a great sorcerer, and gives the king three wishes.
The king looks at the Sorcerer and says "OK, then I wish to be immortal", the sorcerer replies "It's done." The king takes a knife and stabs himself and nothing happens.
Next the king says "OK, then I want my horse to be immortal.", the sorcerer replies "It's done". The king, happy as can be, thrusts his sword into his horse and nothing happens.
Finally the king says "OK, then I want sex organs the size my horse has." The sorcerer replies "It's done".
The king, overjoyed, jumps on his horse and rides back to his castle. At the drawbridge he meets his old friend Peter, jumps off the horse and declares that he's now immortal. Peter laughs, but the king gives Peter his knife and says "Here stab me with the knife." Peter stabs the king as ordered and nothing happens, then the king shows Peter that his horse also is immortal.
Keeping the best for last he says "Wait - just look at this" and the king drops his trousers.
Peter looks at the naked king and cries out loud "Well fuck my boots - that's the biggest pussy I've ever seen..."
The king looks at the Sorcerer and says "OK, then I wish to be immortal", the sorcerer replies "It's done." The king takes a knife and stabs himself and nothing happens.
Next the king says "OK, then I want my horse to be immortal.", the sorcerer replies "It's done". The king, happy as can be, thrusts his sword into his horse and nothing happens.
Finally the king says "OK, then I want sex organs the size my horse has." The sorcerer replies "It's done".
The king, overjoyed, jumps on his horse and rides back to his castle. At the drawbridge he meets his old friend Peter, jumps off the horse and declares that he's now immortal. Peter laughs, but the king gives Peter his knife and says "Here stab me with the knife." Peter stabs the king as ordered and nothing happens, then the king shows Peter that his horse also is immortal.
Keeping the best for last he says "Wait - just look at this" and the king drops his trousers.
Peter looks at the naked king and cries out loud "Well fuck my boots - that's the biggest pussy I've ever seen..."
MCP
Q. What is the definition of a male chauvinistic pig?
A. Someone who thinks “harass” is two words!!!
A. Someone who thinks “harass” is two words!!!
Study
The United States spent $200,000.00 and two years studying why the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft. After two years the researchers concluded that the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft simply for man's pleasure.
The Germans did not think the Americans conducted an accurate study so they did the same study except spent $300,000.00 and three years. After three years they determined that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft simply for woman's pleasure.
Now the Polish did not believe that the Germans or the Americans had any clue as to what they were studying. So the Polish did a study of their own and spent $400.00 and four weeks and concluded that the head of a man's penis was there so his hand would not slip off and hit him in the forehead.
;-)
The Germans did not think the Americans conducted an accurate study so they did the same study except spent $300,000.00 and three years. After three years they determined that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft simply for woman's pleasure.
Now the Polish did not believe that the Germans or the Americans had any clue as to what they were studying. So the Polish did a study of their own and spent $400.00 and four weeks and concluded that the head of a man's penis was there so his hand would not slip off and hit him in the forehead.
;-)
Bang ... LOL
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUNDAY MORNING SEX
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Susan told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small", $6,500 for "medium", $14,000 for "large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right.
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ELDERLY SEX
One night an 87 yr. old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 yr. old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment...killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...he could fly."
;-)
Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SUNDAY MORNING SEX
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Susan told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body.
His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small", $6,500 for "medium", $14,000 for "large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right.
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ELDERLY SEX
One night an 87 yr. old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 yr. old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment...killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...he could fly."
;-)
Sex Frogs
A beautiful, well endowed young blonde, goes to local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: “Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions!”
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I’ll take one.” The man packages the frog and says, “Just follow the instructions carefully.” The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do...
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into some very sexy underwear.
4. Crawl into bed and put the frog “down there”.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices that at the bottom of the paper it says, “If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.”
So, the girl calls the pet store. The man says, “I’ve had some complaints this morning - I'll be right over.” Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, “See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.” The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: “Listen to me! I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”
;-)
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I’ll take one.” The man packages the frog and says, “Just follow the instructions carefully.” The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do...
1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into some very sexy underwear.
4. Crawl into bed and put the frog “down there”.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens! The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices that at the bottom of the paper it says, “If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.”
So, the girl calls the pet store. The man says, “I’ve had some complaints this morning - I'll be right over.” Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, “See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.” The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: “Listen to me! I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”
;-)
Desperate
My absolute sexy secretary told me that she was desperate to get something off her chest.
I got excited and asked her what…
And she said, "Your eyes!"
;-)
I got excited and asked her what…
And she said, "Your eyes!"
;-)
Five female sexual myths
Source: http://women.indiatimes.com/articleshow/869207.cms
Five female sexual myths
[TIMES NEWS NETWORK ]
"I'm going to get married to a doctor after six months, but I'm very worried about my husband-to-be finding out that I am not a virgin as I had an affair a while back."
If you too are in a similar situation or believe that this lady has cause to worry, then it's time to erase some sexual myths regarding women and embrace the reality .
Myth: A woman must bleed when she has sex for the first time.
Reality: The hymen is not a test of virginity. Bleeding usually occurs due to the rupture of the hymen in a virgin. However, the hymen may be absent from birth or may be ruptured due to sporting activities, vigorous exercises or the use of tampons. So, a virgin may not necessarily bleed during her first sexual intercourse.
Myth: Women ejaculate at orgasm, just as men do.
Reality: When a woman is aroused, she is lubricated (which is akin to a male erection) and when she reaches climax, she experiences a completely satiated feeling. Vaginal contractions are not a must and a woman does not ejaculate at the time of orgasm.
Myth: Bigger breasts give rise to better sexual performance.
Reality: Breasts have nothing to do with sexual performance. If your partner has a particular preference for bigger breasts, it may affect his sexual arousal. The number of nerve endings that are spread in bigger breasts are greater than those spread over smaller ones. So, the sensations are far more in smaller breasts, which enhance arousal.
Myth: Sex during menstruation is unhygienic and unsafe.
Reality: Menstrual material is sterile and sex during menstruation is absolutely safe, if both partners so desire. In fact, many couples find sex more enjoyable during this time as there is relative freedom from possible pregnancy and enhanced pleasurable sensations promoted by the moist vagina.
Myth: Menopause is the end of a woman's sexual life.
Reality: Menopause merely marks the end of a reproductive career and not the culmination of sexual desire or the ability to indulge in sexual intercourse. Menopause is just a change of life and not the change of life. A woman continues to remain sexually active till the last day of her life, provided she is in good physical health. This could be her golden years of sexuality as there is enough affection, warmth and understanding after having spent a lifetime together. In fact, sex has no expiry date.
Five female sexual myths
[TIMES NEWS NETWORK ]
"I'm going to get married to a doctor after six months, but I'm very worried about my husband-to-be finding out that I am not a virgin as I had an affair a while back."
If you too are in a similar situation or believe that this lady has cause to worry, then it's time to erase some sexual myths regarding women and embrace the reality .
Myth: A woman must bleed when she has sex for the first time.
Reality: The hymen is not a test of virginity. Bleeding usually occurs due to the rupture of the hymen in a virgin. However, the hymen may be absent from birth or may be ruptured due to sporting activities, vigorous exercises or the use of tampons. So, a virgin may not necessarily bleed during her first sexual intercourse.
Myth: Women ejaculate at orgasm, just as men do.
Reality: When a woman is aroused, she is lubricated (which is akin to a male erection) and when she reaches climax, she experiences a completely satiated feeling. Vaginal contractions are not a must and a woman does not ejaculate at the time of orgasm.
Myth: Bigger breasts give rise to better sexual performance.
Reality: Breasts have nothing to do with sexual performance. If your partner has a particular preference for bigger breasts, it may affect his sexual arousal. The number of nerve endings that are spread in bigger breasts are greater than those spread over smaller ones. So, the sensations are far more in smaller breasts, which enhance arousal.
Myth: Sex during menstruation is unhygienic and unsafe.
Reality: Menstrual material is sterile and sex during menstruation is absolutely safe, if both partners so desire. In fact, many couples find sex more enjoyable during this time as there is relative freedom from possible pregnancy and enhanced pleasurable sensations promoted by the moist vagina.
Myth: Menopause is the end of a woman's sexual life.
Reality: Menopause merely marks the end of a reproductive career and not the culmination of sexual desire or the ability to indulge in sexual intercourse. Menopause is just a change of life and not the change of life. A woman continues to remain sexually active till the last day of her life, provided she is in good physical health. This could be her golden years of sexuality as there is enough affection, warmth and understanding after having spent a lifetime together. In fact, sex has no expiry date.
Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Bruno."
I have one whose name is "Sex" because my ex-girlfriend wanted it that way.
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.He said, "Every room in the place is for sex." I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV" He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in the alley at 4 o’clock the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up Friday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me forever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely".
The doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."
;-)
Lokesh Grover
I have one whose name is "Sex" because my ex-girlfriend wanted it that way.
Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said, "You must have been quite a kid!"
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.He said, "Every room in the place is for sex." I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV" He called me a show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in the alley at 4 o’clock the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up Friday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me forever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely".
The doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend, so get yourself a dog."
;-)
Lokesh Grover
Reason...
Why are married men fatter than Bachelors are?
Bachelor's come home, see what's in the fridge, then go to the bed…
Married men come home, see what's in the bed, then go to the fridge.
Bachelor's come home, see what's in the fridge, then go to the bed…
Married men come home, see what's in the bed, then go to the fridge.
Perfect .....
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer. Trust me, it's worth it.........
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Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrolling.
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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving.
This explains why there was a car accident.
Men keep scrolling.
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By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point...Women never listen.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident.
Question: Who was the survivor?
Scroll down for the answer. Trust me, it's worth it.........
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Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place.
Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
Men keep scrolling.
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So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving.
This explains why there was a car accident.
Men keep scrolling.
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By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point...Women never listen.
Can you spot the Bird?
Can you spot the Bird?
I tried hard to, but regret my mind is elsewhere (pun intended)...
;-)
Lokesh Grover
I tried hard to, but regret my mind is elsewhere (pun intended)...
;-)
Lokesh Grover
What will you do without me?
Friends...
What will you do without me?
;-)
Lokesh Grover
Hand Phone: +91 98 10 19 28 28
MSN Space: http://lokeshgrover.spaces.msn.com/
MSN: lokeshgrover@hotmail.com and ceo@khushiimpex.biz
Skype: lokeshgrover
Trade Manager: lokeshgrover
Yahoo: lokeshgrover
Top 20
TOP 20 WAYS TO SAY THAT YOUR FLY IS UNZIPPED...
20. The cucumber has left the salad.
19. I can see the gun of Navarone.
18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17. You've got Windows on your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
And the number one way to tell someone their fly is unzipped...
1. I thought you were crazy, now I see your nuts.
;-)
20. The cucumber has left the salad.
19. I can see the gun of Navarone.
18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
17. You've got Windows on your laptop.
16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.
14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!
5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
And the number one way to tell someone their fly is unzipped...
1. I thought you were crazy, now I see your nuts.
;-)
What if...?
What women would do if they had a penis for a day...
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
and....
What men would do if they had a vagina for a day...
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
;-)
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
and....
What men would do if they had a vagina for a day...
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
;-)
Anger management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Lokesh. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window...so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked."Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me!," I said."Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better.......
Anger management at it's very best!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Lokesh. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window...so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked."Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me!," I said."Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.
NOW, I feel better.......
Anger management at it's very best!
LMFAO....
A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, "Very quick"!
The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house.
LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar."
LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: No, We have a carport and don't need a grudge.
LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations live in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound.
LAWYER: "No, I mean does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I'm always up before her."
LAWYER: "Why do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me!"
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy bottle at drug store and I read label. It say "Polish Remover".
;-)
LMFAO... OMG!
The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house.
LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar."
LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: No, We have a carport and don't need a grudge.
LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations live in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound.
LAWYER: "No, I mean does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I'm always up before her."
LAWYER: "Why do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me!"
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy bottle at drug store and I read label. It say "Polish Remover".
;-)
LMFAO... OMG!
Pregnancy Test
New Cheap Pregnancy Test for Sindhi's
Insert a Papad into Vagina.
Leave for 30 seconds and then remove.
If the Papad is half eaten, then there is another Sindhi on the way.
LMAO...
;-)
Insert a Papad into Vagina.
Leave for 30 seconds and then remove.
If the Papad is half eaten, then there is another Sindhi on the way.
LMAO...
;-)
CN Tower in Toronto
Below is a photo of the CN Tower in Toronto - the tallest structure in the world!
I knew you would not easily spot it.......so have marked a Red Arrow to assist you...
Thanks and regards,
Lokesh Grover
Hand Phone: +91 98 10 19 28 28
KHUSHI IMPEX BIZ
Blog: http://lokeshgrover.blogspot.com/
MSN Space: http://lokeshgrover.spaces.msn.com/
MSN: lokeshgrover@hotmail.com and ceo@khushiimpex.biz
Skype: lokeshgrover
Trade Manager: lokeshgrover
Yahoo: lokeshgrover
I knew you would not easily spot it.......so have marked a Red Arrow to assist you...
Thanks and regards,
Lokesh Grover
Hand Phone: +91 98 10 19 28 28
KHUSHI IMPEX BIZ
Blog: http://lokeshgrover.blogspot.com/
MSN Space: http://lokeshgrover.spaces.msn.com/
MSN: lokeshgrover@hotmail.com and ceo@khushiimpex.biz
Skype: lokeshgrover
Trade Manager: lokeshgrover
Yahoo: lokeshgrover
Ford
Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford and tells him, "Well, you've been such a good guy, and your invention... the Assembly line for the automobile... changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want."
Ford thinks about it, and says, "I want to hang out with God Himself."
So the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces him to God.
Ford asks God, "When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?"
God asks, "What do you mean?"
"Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting and refinishing.
5. Every 28 days it leaks fluid and is rendered out of service.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.
"Hummmm," replies God, "hold on a minute."
God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. In no time, the computer prints out a report and God read it.
God then turns to Ford, and says, "You are 100% correct, my invention is flawed, but still, according to these statistics, it is a huge success."
"More men are riding my invention than yours."
;-)
Ford thinks about it, and says, "I want to hang out with God Himself."
So the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces him to God.
Ford asks God, "When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?"
God asks, "What do you mean?"
"Well," says Ford, "You have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting and refinishing.
5. Every 28 days it leaks fluid and is rendered out of service.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.
"Hummmm," replies God, "hold on a minute."
God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. In no time, the computer prints out a report and God read it.
God then turns to Ford, and says, "You are 100% correct, my invention is flawed, but still, according to these statistics, it is a huge success."
"More men are riding my invention than yours."
;-)
Rape
Two old men meet on a street corner. The first old man said, "Where have you been for the last couple of months?"
The second old man replied, "I was in jail."
The firsst old man asked, "You were in jail? Why were you in jail?"
He replied, "Well, about two months ago I was standing on a corner, and this beautiful young woman rushes up with a policeman, points to me and says, 'He is the man, officer, he is the one who attacked and raped me'."
The first old man said, "What? And you let her get away with it?"
Second old replied, "Well, I'll tell you, I felt so flattered, I admitted to it."
;-)
The second old man replied, "I was in jail."
The firsst old man asked, "You were in jail? Why were you in jail?"
He replied, "Well, about two months ago I was standing on a corner, and this beautiful young woman rushes up with a policeman, points to me and says, 'He is the man, officer, he is the one who attacked and raped me'."
The first old man said, "What? And you let her get away with it?"
Second old replied, "Well, I'll tell you, I felt so flattered, I admitted to it."
;-)
A Chinese caller speaking to another Chinese telephone operator....
A Chinese caller speaking to another Chinese telephone operator....
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name .
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sum Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name .
Who's Hu in China
Absolute funny....OMG... The Oval Office...
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
LMAO...
;-)
Lokesh Grover
Hand Phone: +91 98 10 19 28 28
MSN Space: http://lokeshgrover.spaces.msn.com/
MSN: lokeshgrover@hotmail.com and ceo@khushiimpex.biz
Skype: lokeshgrover
Trade Manager: lokeshgrover
Yahoo: lokeshgrover
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
LMAO...
;-)
Lokesh Grover
Hand Phone: +91 98 10 19 28 28
MSN Space: http://lokeshgrover.spaces.msn.com/
MSN: lokeshgrover@hotmail.com and ceo@khushiimpex.biz
Skype: lokeshgrover
Trade Manager: lokeshgrover
Yahoo: lokeshgrover
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