Considering that we had no VCR in 1980, the high end of entertainment
for me was watching movies at cinema halls and the low end was
watching Krishi Darshan on Doordarshan. I say it a low not because of
the content, it may or may not have been good since I don't remember
any of it, but because neither did I have any interest in the
khaad/fasal etc., nor did it made any sense to me, yet I unfailingly
stayed glued to it every evening, except for the times when all the
kids rushed out to play "I Spy" on the evenings whenever there was a
power outage in our locality.
Maybe it was God's way of developing my patience for the times when
the happenings around me go beyond the capacity of understanding for
my tiny little brain.
Thank you God Ji.
And Cinema, the high point of Life-e-Loki @ 7, is behind penning this post.
Sometime during my summer vacations, Dad got tickets for Alibaba and
40 Chor, playing at a cinema hall in the vicinity.
The chase, the horses, the magic, and the treasure, all caught my
imagination. I was fascinated by this Dharmendra, Hema Malini and
Zeenat Aman starrer. I thought it was truly awesome to have a cave
full of treasure, which opened itself to the magical words "Khulja
Simsim" and closed itself on hearing "Band Hoja Simsim."
Over next several weeks, Alibaba and 40 Chor consistently figured in
my chit chats with friends. Later as the summer holidays ended, each
of us found new things to discuss and gradually the topic of Alibaba
and 40 Chor faded away.
End of the story.
Not really.
A few months later I saw a dream. In it, instead of going in to
retrieve the treasure, as soon as I reach in front of the cave, I
forget the magic words which will open it. Substituting for Alibaba's
soul, my dream-dream had been infested by the soul of Qassim, who in
the movie forgets the password, gets stuck inside the cave, and
eventually gets killed.
Go Qassim; Go away.
But neither did Qassim nor did the dream leave. Both of them become
persistent. I would wake up in cold sweat every instance that I had
this broken dream. I reasoned that it is merely a nightmare yet it
started to get on my nerves that that even before I could enter the
cave and get the treasure, the dream would end every single time. I
knew the magic words, yet sleepily I faltered when it mattered most.
And as much as I hoped that my dream would have a different ending
next time, yet it always ended at the entrance of the cave. The
nightmare continued on and off for few years, I wanted the end to
change, it didn't, eventually I made peace with it.
Then sometime in 1985, when I bought a special issue of "People", the
dreams featuring those who featured in the Australian magazine of
topless models replaced the nightmare. Voila!
The soul of Qassim had lost to the hot bodies of Australian females.
Victory for a 12 year young boy knocking at the gates of puberty.
Not really.
The soul of Qassim had somehow affected my psyche even without me
being aware of it. The worry of forgetting the magical password after
I am inside the cave, made me fearful of attempting to say it at all.
The fear of falling to nadir stopped me from attempting the zenith and
yet I was falling. I would live on the edge, yet not quite on the edge
of the edge. I would dare, yet somehow in the end, inexplicably I
would give in. I became an escapist.
Not any longer. Not anymore.
I realized that the soul of Alibaba was all along inside me, and had
masqueraded as the soul of Qassim only because I feared it was Qassim.
The moment I found the courage within, it transformed back. Like the
musk-deer, I was searching for fragrance which was always within and
never without.
Dear God, Dear Universe, I seek your divine guidance. Please bless me
with courage for this journey to overcome my Achilles Heel. Please
bless me with the conviction that I must first climb the hill in order
to find the cave. Please bless me with the competence to remember
everything that I must never forget, and forget everything that I must
never remember. Please bless me the clarity of wisdom that the
solitary way of finding if therein lays the treasure or another life
lesson is only after I enter the cave, and therefore I must. Amen.
for me was watching movies at cinema halls and the low end was
watching Krishi Darshan on Doordarshan. I say it a low not because of
the content, it may or may not have been good since I don't remember
any of it, but because neither did I have any interest in the
khaad/fasal etc., nor did it made any sense to me, yet I unfailingly
stayed glued to it every evening, except for the times when all the
kids rushed out to play "I Spy" on the evenings whenever there was a
power outage in our locality.
Maybe it was God's way of developing my patience for the times when
the happenings around me go beyond the capacity of understanding for
my tiny little brain.
Thank you God Ji.
And Cinema, the high point of Life-e-Loki @ 7, is behind penning this post.
Sometime during my summer vacations, Dad got tickets for Alibaba and
40 Chor, playing at a cinema hall in the vicinity.
The chase, the horses, the magic, and the treasure, all caught my
imagination. I was fascinated by this Dharmendra, Hema Malini and
Zeenat Aman starrer. I thought it was truly awesome to have a cave
full of treasure, which opened itself to the magical words "Khulja
Simsim" and closed itself on hearing "Band Hoja Simsim."
Over next several weeks, Alibaba and 40 Chor consistently figured in
my chit chats with friends. Later as the summer holidays ended, each
of us found new things to discuss and gradually the topic of Alibaba
and 40 Chor faded away.
End of the story.
Not really.
A few months later I saw a dream. In it, instead of going in to
retrieve the treasure, as soon as I reach in front of the cave, I
forget the magic words which will open it. Substituting for Alibaba's
soul, my dream-dream had been infested by the soul of Qassim, who in
the movie forgets the password, gets stuck inside the cave, and
eventually gets killed.
Go Qassim; Go away.
But neither did Qassim nor did the dream leave. Both of them become
persistent. I would wake up in cold sweat every instance that I had
this broken dream. I reasoned that it is merely a nightmare yet it
started to get on my nerves that that even before I could enter the
cave and get the treasure, the dream would end every single time. I
knew the magic words, yet sleepily I faltered when it mattered most.
And as much as I hoped that my dream would have a different ending
next time, yet it always ended at the entrance of the cave. The
nightmare continued on and off for few years, I wanted the end to
change, it didn't, eventually I made peace with it.
Then sometime in 1985, when I bought a special issue of "People", the
dreams featuring those who featured in the Australian magazine of
topless models replaced the nightmare. Voila!
The soul of Qassim had lost to the hot bodies of Australian females.
Victory for a 12 year young boy knocking at the gates of puberty.
Not really.
The soul of Qassim had somehow affected my psyche even without me
being aware of it. The worry of forgetting the magical password after
I am inside the cave, made me fearful of attempting to say it at all.
The fear of falling to nadir stopped me from attempting the zenith and
yet I was falling. I would live on the edge, yet not quite on the edge
of the edge. I would dare, yet somehow in the end, inexplicably I
would give in. I became an escapist.
Not any longer. Not anymore.
I realized that the soul of Alibaba was all along inside me, and had
masqueraded as the soul of Qassim only because I feared it was Qassim.
The moment I found the courage within, it transformed back. Like the
musk-deer, I was searching for fragrance which was always within and
never without.
Dear God, Dear Universe, I seek your divine guidance. Please bless me
with courage for this journey to overcome my Achilles Heel. Please
bless me with the conviction that I must first climb the hill in order
to find the cave. Please bless me with the competence to remember
everything that I must never forget, and forget everything that I must
never remember. Please bless me the clarity of wisdom that the
solitary way of finding if therein lays the treasure or another life
lesson is only after I enter the cave, and therefore I must. Amen.
