So on April Fools’ Day, which according to the opinionated wise and
their biases, may they live long, can also be my claim to fame as an
alternate birthdate, Star World celebrated by airing "The Big Bang
Theory" for 12 nonstop hours.
In an episode aired that day, Sheldon is
frantically knocking on the bathroom door whilst Leonard is already
in the shower with Priya. Asked by Leonard the reason for this emergency,
Sheldon responds, “Mathematical emergency, 32 ounce banana smoothie, 16 ounce
bladder”. And the roommate agreement to which both Leonard and Sheldon are a
party must be suspended in an event of force majeure since Sheldon was facing a
very majeure force building in.
As I laughed my dumb numb ass off, I wholeheartedly agreed with
Sheldon’s math, and also with his need, both were fair enough. After all, a man
gotta pee when he has to pee.
Thankfully, Priya agreed too, “Oh Leonard, let the man pee!” Epic, I
say!
The next morning as I was reading an online article on Alfred Hitchcock,
I found a gem of his advisory, “The length of a film should be directly related
to the endurance of the human bladder.”
Yes sire, absolutely and truly so. Either the story be captivating
enough for the patron to gladly and wilfully hold on to his pee staying glued
where he is lest he misses an important twist, or if it isn’t, then with all
due respect, no-one with an urge to pee will wait for an intermission or the
end. After all, the call of nature takes precedence over everything else.
Well said Sir Alfred Joseph Hitchcock. Bravo!
This got me thinking.
To pee, or not to pee!
*Yeah, I do comprehend that according to the wise men, “thinking for me”
is an absolutely blasphemous notion, why et all must I ever indulge in it, but
you see, thinking too is alike pee, ab aa gayi toh aa gayi bhaiya, kya karein,
control hi nahin hota! And over this gustakhi of twisting Hamlet, I must seek
pardon from thou Sir William Shakespeare tau. And the standard disclaimer as
always about no pun ever intended. As always, all puns are “unintentional”.*
So as I was saying, yes indeed, if the muscles that control the bladder
get weak, Doctors advise bladder control exercises or Kegel exercises as they
are known, to strengthen the pelvic muscles that support the bladder, and in
turn assisting in making them strong again.
Or if the pace, place and protocol so demand it, for example in the
middle of a prayer, a man can hold onto the urge to pee as long as he can
endure with his freewill and wait for the right break to take the leak-break.
But under no circumstances can someone be asked to withhold the pee
forever. I mean, just because one can hold it for half hour doesn’t necessarily
imply that he can hold it for another minute more. No sire, absolutely no way!
Beyond a certain point every attempt to go against nature can even become life
threatening.
Take a hike kegal, it is a right, and rightfully legal, lest hypertension
from the stress to hold on and the retention in the kidneys leads to an
eventual fatality. The man has no choice, you see. Either he wets his pants in
public or takes a leak in the privacy of a loo, but after a while, to pee is
imminent. Kapish!
This is same with anything toxic in life, be it anger, hatred,
jealously, negativity, or whatever. If one doesn’t let go, it can result in an
instant or slow death. If I strive to be to be in good balanced health by
keeping fit, be it emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, it then
is absolutely imperative for me to let go of all that is toxic from my life.
But my call of nature isn’t a call to any of you too; let’s not crowd
the bathroom for no reason other than a genuine reason. No two situations are
same and one shoe size doesn’t fit all, everyone has to find out on their own
if there’s anything toxic within or without that needs to let go. And if there
is, then let it go.
My life, my decision, and your life, your decisions. As simple and
profound as that.
Believe you me; there is no machoism in holding on to pee, only
masochism. Save yourself, hold the pee when the need be but learn to let go
after a while.
Good luck and God bless.
